New ways of talking ?

Here's another thing that really pisses me off....in fact there's two related things.

First up for my ridicule:

High Rising Terminal, or Australian Questioning Intonation. This is a new tendency for young females (mostly) to end every sentence sounding like a question, sometimes this effect occurs multiple times within a sentence. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_rising_terminal. I'm not sure why they do it - perhaps they feel a bit insecure - and want to make it sound like they are not giving you a statement of fact - but rather a "perhaps" statement - seeing first if you might agree with them without comitting themselves. Or perhaps, they want to check out if you understand the gist what they are saying. I don't know - but it sounds ridiculous.

Second up:

A peculiar way of speaking that Jeremy Clarkson has made popular - that ends every sentence with a strong downbeat. Almost the opposite of what the AQI does. You hear it all the time on Commercial Radio during the adverts or links or trailers. Movie trailers have it too (you can hear that stereotypical gravelly voice doing it if you imagine hard enough). This way of speaking tries to have the effect of strongly stating a fact - and discouraging any rebuttal -there can be no easy comeback when the sentence ends with such powerful finality. When done well it is the tone of a hectoring bully. This is equally annoying.

Ho hum....I'll stick to my watered down Brummie - which everyone on the Radio 4 says sounds totally thick - but they are completely Home Counties biased anyway. We'll have a go at R4's atttitude to Science soon.

Phil.

Unhealthy Fat Shoppers

....OK, now warming to my theme hinted at in the last blog....


See, I've just come back from shopping, and the sights that you see these days make me wonder if I'm still on planet Earth. There are women shoppers out there that have backsides 4' wide - I'm not kidding . Massive backsides, huge floppy breasts, vast heaving white bellies (often exposed by those ridiculous short T-shirts), double or triple chins and ankles that look like small tree trunks.

It's not just that they are fat, some fat people are vibrant looking, happy even....but some of these fat shoppers also look incredibly unhealthy, intellectually sub-normal and miserable.

They have pasty, spotty faces, lank greasy hair; they are usually smoking a cigarette and swearing at their snotty nosed brats. They'll be sucking on a can of coke, or pushing a Sayers sausage roll into their fat faces. You can picture the scene....

The problem is that this is becoming normal...this is how many people now look, so these fat ugly, unpleasant people no longer look out of place....It's you who is out of place.

Now that's scary...

Modern Shops

Hi again Blogsters,

This months little rant is about modern shops and how everything about them is crap. It's got to the extent with me that I can no longer really stand going shopping. Let's do some naming and shaming: Currys, Comet, All Chain "Sport" shops, Music / Games Stores, Woolworths, Boots, Halfords....basically all of the high street chains.

These "retail outlets" are characterised by having nothing really in stock (except small stuff) - they just have cheap tatty looking shelving, containing unpacked goods that they will try to sell you "at a discount" because they carry no virtually stock. The assistants are mostly teenagers working on minimum wage who don't really give a damn about the job anyway (why would they?) - so customer service is virtually nil. I just love the "Expert Tech Guy" badges by some of the older looking ones in the PC stores (PC World, etc). I wouldn't trust them to tie my shoelaces. These assistants basically don't really do anything now that the stores have the new chip & pin devices which the customers operate anyway. The stores don't need need the dopey assistants at all - just shelf stockers and a security guy.

Then they try to sell you some crappy insurance deal at the "till", it's not a till, it's a stock control terminal linked to a head-office server - always say no by the way. Can you imagine trying to claim for a dysfunctional DAB radio in 2 years time with one of these deals...hah hah...no chance.

God I hate them. Internet shopping is the only way. Same old rubbish but at least it spares you the hassle, the dithering pensioners, unhealthy looking fat people and dozy, pierced, disinterested teenagers.

Whoo ho....good one.

Spring has Sprung - Well, sort of...

Hi Bloggers,

Long time no post - I know. Anyway. Now it's mid April and the weather here in the NW UK has gone a bit cranky. One day it's hot, and the next its freezing cold with icy winds and violent hailstorms. The poor things in the garden don't know what to do. Personally I'm hunkering down until June.  All the animals on board the good ship Waterfield are still alive - the guinea pigs are fatter, the cats lazier (and smellier) and the fish aren't suffering from too much fungus-face. 

We're going to a snow-dome thing in Manchester tomorrow for our 12 year old's birthday treat with her friends - God help us.

Actually,  God is a subject that I will be warming to over the next few blogs.  I've read a bit of Dawkins you see and it's added fuel to my atheistic fire. So prepare for a rant.

See you.

Weekend Chores

...You know, when you've run around all week doing your normal work, the last thing you need at weekends is the pile of normal "chores" that have to be done to stop the family and home looking like tramps.

Unfortunately, needs must: So Saturday is washing the clothes and sheets, and the re-making the beds....and unless the washing machine and tumble drier are kept running all day - we don't finish until the evening.

And then Sunday is the ironing day- although our ironing only gets as "Extreme" as listening to the Archers - or in my case my iPod. I think this chap here is a bit of a git though.

The strange thing is, is that when you have some spare time on weekends - like now - I feel at a bit of a loose end...It's only 12:10 pm and lunch is a good 50 mins away. What the hell do I do for 50 mins ? Ho humm....

Mithering Cats in the Early Evening

This is Yeti, so called because she has massive feet due to the fact that she has 6 toes per paw. She is a greedy beast and consequently has "jumping flanges" around her waist, not that I can talk !

After 3pm she starts mithering for her evening meal - luckily on weekdays we don't get in until 5pm - so by then she is "starving" - seriously, she starts biting you if she isn't provided for. So on weekends you either have to lock her outside, or lock yourself away after 3pm. Sometimes like tonight, even after she has been fed, she still mithers around the chair legs, miaowing and looking anxious.

Personally I think she expects some pudding.

Hee hee....

Mid January Musings...

Hi there Bloggers,

Here we all are in mid January. Well so far 2008 has been wet, dark, cold and windy. Just what you'd expect for January - but quite honestly, would rather not have. Global warming - bring it on.

The year has started okay. Missa is now having her regular 1 hr per week Tutors lesson for her 11+ in Dec (poor little devil) and Becca is just slogging on against her "targets" -aren't we all. Bloody Honda Tourer has required another rear tailgate latch mechanism fix - I reckon the speed bumps at work are knackering it.

Nobody has yet gone down with any serious "Noro" virus - vomiting and the trots - thank God.
That book I've been reading -"The Secret of Crickley Hall" by James Herbert was a good finish - it would make a good film...Cheers James. Augustus Cribben is exactly our Yr 5 "literacy" figure of Mr Wickens (courtesy Melissa Waterfield)..."Swish, Thwack !"

Glad all the kids got away in the end...even though they were Ghosts....